Over the course of the summer I feel God has been dealing with my heart about living a sacrificial life. All too often we live with only one person in mind. ME, ME, ME. We wake up every day, go to job/school with the intentions of making money/gaining knowledge in order to make money, drive our cars, entertain ourselves with TV, computer, books, friends, hobbies, or even studying. Now while none of these things in themselves are the root of selfishness, I think it is our ambitions that are... or can be.
All of this makes me ask myself... When was the last time I did something in which I would receive no benefit? When did I last do something completely for someone else's gain?
Last Friday I walked to a stationary store and came back to school with a cute new notebook with a picture of the map of Asia on the cover. I loved my new notebook, and I even told myself that every time I used it I could be reminded to pray for the 10/40 window. (Let me tell you I had big plans for this notebook!) As I was showing a teammate of mine, a student walks up and says, (in Konglish-- Korean/English mix) "I like that. Can I have it?" Everything inside of me wanted to say, "Of course not.. I just bought this cute little notebook to bring back to America so I could be reminded to pray for your country!" But instead I just gritted my teeth and said, "Sure! Of course you can have it." Then she sat me down to help her with Enlish. After about an hour of going through dissecting and explaining about 10 little sentences she opens up that notebook I just handed over and begins to fill the pages with all of the words I just helped her to understand.
I felt unmeasurably blessed (even without my new notebook) knowing that somehow, even if she never remembers who I am, something that I did, that really cost me nothing, has reached out and helped someone else. What if we all lived like this every day, with every action? We would either all have a lot of new notebooks or we could possibly reach people we have never dreamed reachable all through a never-ending chain of Christ's love flowing through us.
I then began to take notice of all the things that were done for me, just in that one day, that I paid nothing for yet only received the benefit of. I was given a free ticket to Lotte World. People tried so hard all day to communicate with me, even though I was the only one in the group that didn't know Korean. Someone shared there small umbrella with me, and another person, which resulted in everyone still getting wet. Teachers were concerned I would catch a cold because I was wet. I was given tissues, yes.. tissues.. to dry off because I was soaking wet. A teacher bought me a whole dinner, and when I got to the table to sit, I realized he was sharing his dinner already with a student. And a random 12 year old girl in a line for a ride shared candy with me! All in one little day at Lotte World.
What will I do when I go home? Will I sink back into my same old routine? Or will I remain in this challenged state I find myself in here? I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to convict me, and that my Christian friends will hold me accountable to this great calling.